I Moved! Why I haven’t shared it

 

 

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I recently moved from Binghamton, NY to Gaithersburg, MD… And it was a process.

I haven’t been very vocal about myself moving although I haven’t been hiding it either. Besides some friends and family members and those who have been paying attention to some of my social media, I’ve realized a few times since moving, a lot of people didn’t know I moved to Maryland and thought I was either still in Binghamton or back in NYC. I haven’t really posted anything about it on Facebook, the main source of information exchange and life updates…for a few different reasons.

  1. I’ve been trying to keep some parts of my life private or at least delay certain announcements. I don’t know if anyone noticed but I haven’t been posting as often on my social media as before. My personal posts on FB have been minimal but I continued to share funny pictures or important articles as before.
  2. Over the past few years, I’ve been trying to shift my focus off of posting every little thing toward living my life more. The amount of selfies taken has decreased as I have been focusing more on my personal life. Also, it has been extremely difficult to keep up with all the changes in my life and there have been so many times I’ve wanted to craft some elaborate Instagram piece with cute stickers and emojis and captions but felt like I didn’t have enough time or energy to put into it and that I should save that for something more exciting.
  3. My social media accounts and sites have been getting more split up to cover different content. I’ve split my Instagram into my existing personal page and my newer art projects page. The same goes for Facebook. I have my personal page and my art page. About a year ago, I started posting videos on my Youtube channel and trying to think of and film more ideas for that. That is actually where I first posted anything about the move. There are vlog videos of me and my housemates moving out of our old house and the first experiences in MD. And now I have finally made another blog that I will be using seriously like my YT, unlike the many times I’ve made channels and blogs that I quickly abandoned.
  4. It has been a tough two months. Mentally exhausting. My housemate and I had our expectations set too high for coming here. We didn’t realize how hard it would be to find a place to live. We started looking before we moved. We looked at maybe 10-20 (if not more) different houses (townhouses included) and about 10-15 apartment buildings. We finally moved into an apartment at the end of July and we were approved only after they looked at the income of my (now) apartment mate, Devin, both of his parents, and his dad’s savings. I’m honestly not sure how anyone is supposed to move anywhere like that. And ALL the different buildings and houses had different requirements. There was no one standard everyone followed. And, of course, every single one had an application fee. We probably spent around $100 just applying and being rejected from all these places. Ironically, the one we moved into was the only one we didn’t pay for because they happened to be having a special then.
  5. …I was embarrassed. When we moved out of our old house, we thought we’d be able to establish ourselves quickly…and we quickly realized that wasn’t the case. We lived at Devin’s parent’s house for a month and a half mostly out of some suitcases and bags with a few of our things, while the rest of it was in storage. It was frustrating because we didn’t have access to our things. All of my art stuff was in storage. I felt stuck and unable to do things I really wanted to do. I did finish reading a book and editing and uploading some videos during that time so that helped a little bit. Eventually, the more we realized that we wouldn’t have our own space, the more we slowly started grabbing things here and there out of storage and trying to find places for them. That month and a half, I started seeing myself as a failure, I started questioning if I made the right decision to move here, I thought that since things haven’t worked out as I imagined that I did something wrong and I didn’t want people to know that. I didn’t want people to think that I was incapable.
  6. I didn’t have a job. Devin was able to get transferred from the store he worked at Binghamton to one down here and then eventually took up a second job. Meanwhile I was sitting at his parent’s house feeling like I couldn’t do anything and feeling out of place even though I knew I was welcome there. I applied to and e-mailed different theatres and other relevant job positions and either didn’t get any responses or got responses saying that the position was taken. OR one place in particular massively wasted my time after they responded right away to set up an interview but 3 unanswered emails, a phone call, a visit, and another phone call later, we set up an interview only to have it be moved and then cancelled…So my morale was pretty low in the job searching category as well.

Why I’m writing this now:

Like so many of our expectations that fell short, most of them were for planning things once we got our own place. We kept talking about how once we get settled in we’d be able to do so much more. And so we finally settled in. I’ve been unpacking for the last two weeks and have finished, besides a few small things that don’t necessarily have to get unpacked. I also signed a contract to work at UMD today. So I now have my own space, I now have a job guarantee, and I now feel like I can do the things I want to do.

So get excited for so much more writing, and painting, and creating. Because I am definitely excited.

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