Yesterday when I woke up, I went to put on my glasses as usual. Only when I picked them up, the left handle just came off. I normally have at least one other spare but both my previous glasses cracked at the rim. So I started freaking out, pulled out some crazy glue and tried to glue the glass to the rim of the previous glasses and the handle to my current. Having done this before, I knew how shitty it looks because it’s practically impossible to make crazy glue look neat.
The problem with gluing the handle on was slightly different though. Since it was right at the base where the hinge was, I had to glue it on making sure that I can still open and close it so I can put them away when I need to. So I had to glue a tiny bit and somehow avoid the hinge. The first time I did it, it didn’t work and the whole thing came out again (granted I didn’t give it enough time to dry). So I put on my shitty glue covered, cracked rims glasses while I was fixing these.
Another problem I came across while fixing them was that the left handle now wanted to sway further out and so when I put them on, they would slide off my face almost immediately. I pulled out my little screw and tried to tighten both ends and quickly realized that wasn’t helping either so I decided to do what I’ve done with another pair a few years ago and just put a piece of rolled up tape between the handle and the base of the rim to try to keep it from going back too far and that seemed to work. Only when I did that the first time, instead of just giving me a tighter fit, it started pulling up the dang handle and making it come undone again. Eventually after fiddling around with it, I finally managed to make it work temporarily, then went online and ordered 3 new pairs.
I knew I had to order new glasses anyway for a while now because I no longer had a spare, as I just mentioned, but I was avoiding it until I could no longer. Unfortunately as painful as it is spending money when I’m trying to save, the most painful part of all this was how that almost ruined my entire day.
I became really upset literally right after waking up because I felt, in a way, paralyzed. I went to eat breakfast without glasses. and while I did have the option to just put on contacts I don’t like wearing them unless I really have to. I felt like I was destined to just suffer the rest of the day. I started crying as I was looking around the room, taking in just how dysfunctional I am without eye wear. To make it even worse, I am an artist and as you can imagine for an artist, vision is everything. Typically I can avoid the crushing realization that I need to do something about my vision because I wear glasses everyday and don’t have to think about it, but during moments like these, there’s no way you can avoid thinking about it.
I cried about my common disability until I couldn’t avoid that I had to do something with what I have now until my new glasses came. When I have the option to take my glasses off and compare my vision, it’s usually just an interesting experience but when I have no choice but not to wear them, it becomes my worst nightmare. I can’t go anywhere without glasses or contacts. The clearest I can see is about a foot from my face. Anything after that becomes blurry. Without my glasses I wouldn’t be able to drive, watch tv, organize my stuff, even cook food and make art, and pretty much almost anything (at least not easily). Everything would be so much more inaccessible.
Glasses are huge part of my identity for both stylistic and practical reasons and without them I straight up lose my mind. Yesterday was a terrible morning because of something I can only partially control and it made me feel weak and almost undeserving of everything I’m able to do thanks to some kind of eye support. It’s crushing and uncomfortable and I hate it. At some point I’m going to work towards ditching my glasses forever, but right now there are too many other things I have to focus on.
I will be writing more about my experiences with bad vision and the research I’ve done on ways to correct it as well as how the eye industry became what it is today. Believe it or not, there are ways to correct it without getting Lasik and there is actually a whole book about how to do it naturally that no one teaches us about (because greed and money). An eye specialist in the 1920’s named William Bates came up with alternative ways to improve vision to the point of getting rid of your glasses.
Stay tuned for more on all this later.